Burke's a Salesman PT1

Pre-Show Setup & Technical Difficulties

• Mic and audio issues plagued the opening minutes — Scott's microphone was not positioned correctly, making him inaudible to Burke until repositioned.
• Scott noted he had been shaking since the previous night, joking darkly about not making it to age 60 and that "death is coming quickly."
• Burke forgot the show was on Tuesday, only realizing it when his phone buzzed with a "Davis and Davis Show" reminder while he was on vacation browsing YouTube.
• Show flow access problem: Burke could not locate the updated show flow because he navigates via "Shared with Me" rather than pinning the shared folder; Scott clarified it was inside the Show Flow folder in Google Drive and advised Burke to pin it.
• Burke confirmed he found the show flow after navigating manually; noted that yellow highlighting means audio drop cues.
• Throughout the episode, Scott's internet connection repeatedly dropped, switching between AT&T and another network on Zoom, causing degraded performance. Speed test conducted mid-show showed Scott at 74 Mbps down / 798 Mbps up at one point, while Burke clocked 554 Mbps down / ~22 Mbps up.
• Scott's HP laptop was a repeated source of frustration — unable to play a video while simultaneously running a Zoom call; Scott expressed anger at paying $2,500 for a machine that couldn't handle basic multitasking.
• Zoom itself was identified as a likely culprit for sucking up bandwidth, consistent with prior episodes.

Personal Updates & Off-Air Life

• Mama Sveti remains hospitalized; the infection is described as "kicking her ass," and doctors are now concerned it may be affecting her spleen. Scott does not expect her home that week; she has been in the hospital for approximately 2 of the past 4 weeks of what was supposed to be a vacation.
• Scott had dinner the previous night at Japan House (an all-you-can-eat restaurant) with Jordan and his wife, having nearly forgotten about the plans after starting to cook dinner at 4:45 PM.
• During dinner, Scott confronted Jordan about AI-generating a Davis and Davis Show image, noting the show lost "almost a thousand listeners" right after that episode aired; Jordan's wife called him a "shithead" upon hearing this.
• Burke is on vacation for the week — not traveling, just taking the week off at home. He did nothing Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday and described it as intentional downtime.
• Sam (Burke's daughter): Burke hasn't heard from her in a couple of days regarding her house situation; his attitude is "no news is good news" and "less shit for me to buy for her."
• Burke is drinking Evan Williams Black Label with diet soda; Scott is on Evan Williams Black Label with Kroger-brand grapefruit soda (sugar-free substitute for ginger ale, which he only likes with sugar, conflicting with his current sugar-free diet).
• Scott mentioned Mountain Dew as another mixer Burke had previously recommended; he has it on hand but preferred the grapefruit flavor profile for this session.

Recurring Comedic Segments

Motivational Segment

• Scott delivered the show's Motivational bit: "Love is not about finding the perfect person — that is fucking impossible. Instead, find somebody just as fucked up as you and learn to love, laugh at, and appreciate each other's fucked up imperfections."

War & News Updates

• Ukraine War Update (attributed to Burke Davis): "They're still fighting."
• Iran War Update (attributed to Scott Davis): "They're still fighting."
• Robert Smith of The Cure call: Smith reported feeling "quite happy," which he interpreted as a sign of the apocalypse — instructing listeners to find their children and head to the nearest fallout shelter.
• Travis Kelce / Taylor Swift Update (Burke Davis): "Well, they're married!"
• Adele Update (Dirk Bavis): "We don't care."
• Newsmonger call: The newsmonger expressed a desire to go into the woods and "suck out the souls of helpless woodland critters" to offer to Cthulhu to bring about the end of the world.
• F1 fan interview bit: Fans reacted with horror to the fictional pairing of Lewis Hamilton and Kim Kardashian.

Miscellaneous One-Liners & Bits

• Tattoo joke: "I have a tattoo on my ribcage that says 1 plus 1 equals 11."
• Advice bit: "The next time you're mad at a woman, just remember, she's probably retarded. It's not her fault." (delivered as satirical/absurdist comedy)
• Cleveland, Ohio tagline: "The land of happy endings."

Cleveland Browns Parody Song

• Scott wrote an original Cleveland Browns parody song set to the melody of a Daughtry track, performed as if it were the halftime show at a Browns game and then again as a choir recital by his aunt's granddaughter.
• Key lyrical themes included: 62 years of losing, the Haslam ownership's perceived indifference, a "predator" quarterback (referencing Deshaun Watson), empty stands, fumbles, and a "perfect season and a parade" being the franchise's idea of a win.
• The song's chorus: "We should be called the clowns, down in Cleveland Town / We've got a predator taking the snap, falling straight into the trap."
• The parody concluded with: "Welcome to the Burke-Paul Brown Stadium."
• Burke's reaction: "I'm sorry I missed it now, man. I might start watching the Cleveland Browns because of that song alone."
• The choir recital version featured the same lyrics sung by a child, which Scott found hilarious — noting with amazement "how the lyrics are the same."
• Scott confirmed the song took him a long time to write and joked about copyrighting it.
• Burke correctly identified the source melody as Daughtry, which Scott acknowledged made the parody simultaneously better and worse.

Burke's Spoken Word

• Burke performed "Sneaky Snake", a children's song about a snake that sneaks up behind you and drinks your root beer, featuring the refrain: "Sneaky Snake goes dancing, wiggling and a hissing / Sneaky Snake goes dancing, a giggling and a kissing."
• The song concludes with the observation: "When he goes wiggling through the grass, it tickles his underneath."

Celebrity Deaths Segment

Scott and Burke co-anchored an extended celebrity death roundup covering recent notable passings:

• John Small — Musician and director; died September 4th, 2026, in West Palm Beach, Florida of cancer, age 79. Played drums with Billy Joel in the Hassles and heavy metal group Attila. Directed music videos including Walk This Way (Aerosmith & Run DMC) and Till You Love Me (Reba McEntire) — Burke corrected Scott's misattribution of the videos mid-segment.
• Lucian Smith — Artist; died September 7th, 2026, in New York, age 37; cause of death not announced. Known for "rain paintings" created by spraying paint from fire extinguishers. Scott noted he had seen Smith's work and called it "wicked cool," specifically praising the 3D layering effect achieved with acrylics.
• Barry Melrose — Hockey player and broadcaster; died September 9th, 2026, after fighting Parkinson's disease, age 70. Spent nearly 30 years as a hockey color commentator and analyst at ESPN. Coached the Los Angeles Kings with Wayne Gretzky to the Stanley Cup Final in 1993. Native of Saskatchewan. Scott noted he met Melrose while working for ESPN and Rogers SportsNet during the NHL All-Star Game at American Airlines Center and described him as "a very nice guy."
• Andre Pronovost (Ranabast) — Died September 8th, age 90. Played for the Montreal Canadiens, Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, and Minnesota North Stars (now Dallas Stars) in the 1950s–60s. Remembered as part of the Canadiens dynasty that won 4 consecutive Stanley Cups in the late 1950s.
• Mike McFarland — Voice actor; died September 9th, 2026, after fighting brain cancer, age 56. Known for English dubs of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z (voiced Master Roshi and others), Buggy the Clown in One Piece, and roles in Fullmetal Alchemist and Attack on Titan.
• George Chuvalo — Boxer; died November 12th, 2026, on his 89th birthday, age 89. Heavyweight from Toronto who fought Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, and George Foreman. Remembered for never being knocked down in any of his 93 professional fights. Ali reportedly called him "the toughest guy he had ever fought."
• Cheetah Chrome (Eugene Richard O'Connor) — Musician; died September 13th, age 71. Guitarist for pioneering punk band Dead Boys, known for albums Young, Loud, and Snotty and We Have Come for Your Children. Born in Cleveland, Ohio; also remembered for work with proto-punk band Rocket from the Tombs.
• Bob Mackie — Fashion and costume designer; died September 14th of pneumonia at a hospital in Palm Springs, California, age 87. Created iconic ensembles for Cher, Dolly Parton, and Elton John. Burke eulogized: "He showed us that glamour could be funny, daring, and unapologetically theatrical... what you wear can be as powerful as what you say."

Lzzy Hale / Skid Row Announcement

• Scott attempted to play audio of Lzzy Hale (lead singer of Halestorm) to introduce a music news item, but the clip that played was identified by Burke as Daughtry — causing further technical confusion.
• Burke corrected the spelling: the name is "Lzzy" — L-Z-Z-Y, no first "i."
• Skid Row Lead Singer: Scott noted that while Lizzie Hale is not officially the new lead singer, she performed a concert with them 1.
• Website Changes: Scott observed that Skid Row removed all band member biographies from their website last week, leading him to speculate that Lizzie Hale may be added 1.
• Band Status: Scott commented that the band is no longer a "big arena player" and now performs in smaller venues (1,000 to 5,000 people) 2.

• Scott acknowledged that while Sebastian Bach can still sing, hitting the high notes is now a real strain for him.
• Scott reflected fondly on the Warrant/Skid Row co-headlining show at Nautica Stage as "the best frickin' concert I've ever been to."
• Burke noted Lzzy Hale is "easy on the eyes" and expressed surprise she is 42 years old.